Well, it's official ... today I turn 46. I'm moving into, what I'm calling, my "Second Act" and I am pretty damn excited about it.
It's been a long time since I can truly say that I am happy. Fully and completely happy. I was in a rut for a long time. Even I didn't realize how long I was wading around, nor did realize how deep I was in it. My grandmother passed away in 2011 and life as I knew it changed radically. I was heartbroken over the lose. While I knew I was heartbroken, I did not realize just how broken I really was. Relationships in my life were suffering - friendships & family. Worse, my marriage was suffering too. I was spinning! I felt overwhelmed all the time. I decided to try therapy. I say "try" because it was short lived. I went in with an open heart, hoping to find a "cure" for how I was feeling. Instead, she told me I was depressed and from what I had disclosed during sessions, she felt I suppressed my emotions to manage what was happening around me. Well of course I do ... we all know I have control issues. Duh! Like I said, I hoped to walk away from therapy "cured," instead I walked away in the direction of understanding WHY I was unhappy. That in itself was a huge finding!
Having the opportunity to go through therapy, although short lived. I keep saying short lived, but let me preface by saying, my time with my therapist was less than a full year - so to me, that is short lived. I learned a lot about myself during that time. I had been searching for a direction; personally and professionally, for a very long time. I always felt like I was scratching the service on something, but never really getting to where I felt satisfied. Coming out of therapy, moving into this direction of understanding WHY I was unhappy, suddenly I felt I was finally moving into a personal transformation. This transformation process was something I desperately needed and is still ongoing. While I know the process is uncomfortable, once I finally get to the other side, the growth alone will be priceless.
Suddenly I was showing up for myself. I was changing my mindset. Choosing positivity, action, and self care. I was (learning) to make myself a priority. Again, I say learning because I had (and still have) days where I need to remind myself it's alright to have a bad day and I get to try again tomorrow.
In the last year - year and a half, I have truly been intentional with how I am showing up for myself & my family. There is no rule that says you cannot change your life if you are not happy with where you are in your story. I don't want to sound cliche, but this saying is perfect ... "when writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen."
Over the last few months, I have gained real clarity on where I am going professionally. I have combined all things I am passionate about and letting them evolve into my purpose. Once everything is complete, I will share all details with you, but in the meantime, you are welcome to see the preview.
So, here's to 46! It's day &%$ of this damn quarantine, however, I will celebrate my day with my favorite humans; my husband and two amazing sons.
For you, my readers, welcome to my Second Act!! The first act is always exciting, but it's the second act - that's where the depth comes in!
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